SECTION 2 - PAGE 9: LOVE - WHAT IT IS & WHAT IT ISN'T, PART 2

   LOVE & LOSS

I am kind of adrift today I guess. I don't know how to articulate it, but this is the first day in almost 22 years that my/our cat Mittens has not been here. Loving and being loved. It's an empty feeling. It will probably remain so for several days. I have my pics of course and my memories...and now I have my grief and sorrow at the loss of him to contend with. He died in my arms...hopefully knowing I loved him. In the end that was all I could give him. In truth, what else IS there to give another that is more important or more meaningful...than your love. Think about that. 

THINGS they come and go. 
People do too, but the THINGS in your life will 
NEVER FEEL your love or lack of it. 
People ALWAYS will whether they acknowledge it 
or show it or not. Forgive me, but as a writer 
this is how I do pretty much everything. I vent, love, express, grieve...all through the power and emotion of WORDS. You read my words and FEEL my emotion...all without sound 
or physical interaction.

No one can hug me today physically, and I can't hug back. But I CAN write about what I am feeling. My friends will understand 
I hope. Others? Who knows. All I can do is try.

LOVE GENERALLY SPEAKING

In a sea of indifference and neglect, a pet...yes even a cat, can remind us of the immense capability we as human beings have to love. To care. To reach out beyond ourselves and TOUCH one another. Animals do it instinctively and frequently unconditionally especially within species...always. 

People do too, SOMETIMES...and while we have the capacity to do that, do we? DO WE DO IT? DO YOU?

Have you or do you love another person...UNCONDITIONALLY? NOW? EVER? I wonder.

You know...it's usually the 'I will love you, (and then there comes that seemingly always included...IF, there). 

Of COURSE I will love you IF...OR 

AS LONG AS YOU_____ (fill in your blank of choice).

THAT is NOT love, at least not in the Biblical sense no matter how common or prevalent it may be today. The Biblical word for it is Agape and Agape MEANS UNCONDITIONAL. 

"For God SO LOVED (Agape) THE WORLD (me and maybe you, lol) that he GAVE...").

He GAVE. See, that is what is at the heart of LOVE. GIVING. You can't do one without the other. Period. LOVE is inherently about giving. Giving OUT of yourself, just as HE did. Giving without the hope of gain, no promise given to that.

Maybe love ALSO speaks to people's values. What DO people hold as valuable. People or things?  Deep or shallow. Love or lust. It boggles my mind JUST HOW MUCH we have the chance to live down in the depths of our potential and yet how few of us ever actually DO or even attempt to. I try and fail at it, but for far too many life is ONLY about the moment. Instant gratification over enduring joy and temporary pleasure over lasting happiness. GIFTING, not just at Christmas or birthdays or whatever. 

TRUE LOVE IS GIVING...giving the ONE thing you will never find in a store. Because it can never be bought or sold. Yes, the greatest gift you can ever give is YOU...and the reason is the need to give unconditionally. BECAUSE YOU LOVE.

You just GIVE so that another will feel better, feel more, feel enhanced, elevated, warmed, and will FEEL LOVED. Love is the key that opens the door to blessings. Incoming and outgoing. Love is the key that opens up YOUR treasure chest of goodies.

Now, love is not without its problems. Nope. Life is FULL of problems and love is not immune. But loving and being loved gives you someone to face those challenges of life with, another set of hands, another heart, another mind. ANOTHER PERSON TO CARE FOR, ABOUT, AND WITH you.

WITHOUT THAT, WE ARE ALONE. 

We were not created to be alone. Yes we always have God with us, but HE has said he works through US. So, He needs YOU to be OPEN to love so he can love not only YOU more and better, but someone else THROUGH you.

As frustrating and ridiculously nutty as most of us are and can be most of the time, we are usually far better off overall having someone with us. Next to us. Holding our hand. It can remind us that GOD LOVES US, and that WE are valuable to someone other than ourselves. 

                        LOVING & BEING LOVED 

                                  IS PROOF...
                         GOD GOT IT RIGHT

                                      

Being loved to me is the evidence that someone else recognizes your worth. Your value. LOVE is the crazy glue that binds us together as a species. ANY so-called God who claims to be such and yet preaches and teaches that LOVE in any form that consists of 2 consenting adults without coercion...is bad, evil, unworthy, wrong, against societal norms and teachings, OR worst of all..AGAINST GOD AND ALL OF HUMANKIND...is NOT a God that ANYONE should admire let alone follow. NO human being should be worshipping a God of any stripe or religious bent that preaches and teaches HATE. PERIOD.

THAT is a SURE sign that this is a FALSE God, foisted upon man BY man. Man can and does hate fairly easily. GOD NEVER DOES so any so-called God that preaches hate is preaching the very antithesis of what it means to BE GODLY.

Yes, that is MY opinion, but...we ALL of us see the evidence of the power of love all around us. I have felt it in the two days since Mittens died.  I have seen it before. I felt it when Shamal was hounding me to love him and to marry him...and oh yes he did and it was relentless. LOL. True. I have known love before and even if I NEVER feel the warmth of another person's arms around me ever again, I have felt it and I KNOW what REAL LOVE feels like. It is not sham, faux. It IS powerful and with Justin? Mustafa? It was INTENSE. I KNEW they loved me...and it felt so good.

I see love in the Spring Flowers, in the random acts of kindness some of us at least are capable of giving to others.

Love is the fruit, and WE are the basket. WE are the seed packet. No flowers will ever bloom unless WE first release the seeds into the ground, nurture them, feed and water them. Love means taking responsibility too that you do your part to ensure the harvest of blessings love can and almost always does bring over time. NO act of love happens without intent. NO LOVE AFFAIR happens on its own. It takes ACTION on our part to make that so...and to make that flower bloom.

ANYONE who PLAYS at love diminishes not love but themselves. They display for all to see how lacking and shallow they are on the inside. Some play at love, think it is a game, because they really don't understand it, maybe were raised in a home without it by the same kind of people he has become. They don't know what it is or how to deal with it. Some play at love in an attempt to minimize it because they fear it. They fear becoming vulnerable to another.

But for whatever the reason they do, dudes and women alike, it's SAD.

There are also those who have been taught by the ignorant probably religious bigots that some forms of love are JUST PLAIN WRONG. Then they go to church and talk about how their God is a God of love, meaning he loves THEM, but question His Deity and His ability to create properly. GOOD GOD. LOL. The truth is HE created perfectly, knew what He was doing, and if God says he created and you accept the premise that he is infallible...then, BABY HE CREATED LOVE AND IT AIN'T WRONG. PERIOD.
As long as both parties are in on the fun, it ain't wrong and GOD SAID SO.

NOT man, not the parts of the Bible that seem to say so but are only really acknowledging MAN'S LAW at the time and Jesus DEFIED that. I can always tell when someone 'gets it'. Gets love, cause it is written all over their faces and their actions. It shows in their voices, in their eyes, in their faces. Love SHOWS. Love GIVES. Love IS...the catalyst that rises to embue kindness and caring in all we do.

ANYTHING ELSE, ANYTHING, IS LESS than what we are capable of and what we are called to do. Who EVER your 'higher power' is, he has called you to love everyone you encounter. Maybe they won't accept it, TOUGH. That is on them. YOU do YOUR part and worry NOT what THEIR reaction is.

LOVE WILL WIN IN THE END.
At least for most of us.

You know what?

LOVE & SETTLING FOR 

LESS THAN WE DESERVE

WE SETTLE...
when we don't have to for things that definitely don't last. 
Looks is a perfect example.

Looks FADE and yet. Look at how many people put ALL their effort and energy into landing someone who LOOKS good to them and they in the process care not a whit about whether or not that other person will BE good to or for them...and when those looks fade AND THEY ALWAYS DO? THEN WHAT?

Age like looks is also a very fleeting thing. NOBODY stays the age they are at right now, or five minutes ago, or five years ago. If someone is 18-22 (you know, the age when dudes think other dudes and girls are JEST SOOOO HAWT), and at their peak? It's this one tonight who looks GAWJUS, and then tomorrow night another hottie and the nex...you get the idea. It's about THIS moment of pleasure and the next and the next. THAT, boys and gerbils, is LUST, NOT LOVE.

THEN PRETTY SOON, all those hotties are AGING hotties. Looks fading or faded maybe in a year or two. SO now you are beside yourself...DESPERATELY trying to find YOUR disappearing youth in the looks and age of another. NEVER WORKS, NEVER...and how horribly unnecessarily SAD. Those hotties are gone and NOW? YOUR looks and appeal are ALSO gone, and NOW?

I'll tell you what. LONELINESS AND EMPTYNESS...are what and FOR WHAT?

Far too many people whether male or female and gay or straight or bi have such FUCKED-UP PRIORITIES! They value as significant what is fleeting while forsaking what lasts. HOW STUPID CAN YOU GET. WHY NOT LOOK at that hottie's INSIDE.  His character, personality, values, principles, core beliefs, interests. FIND OUT WHO THE DUDE IS. GET INSIDE HIS HOUSE and stop languishing on the front porch where the furniture is becoming faded and eventually...

If you look at the PERSON, and NOT just the shell maybe you will find a whole lot more there than you realized...and? Maybe when you REALLY LOOK DEEPER? You just might find the love you have been overlooking. I will tell you this much. If you fall for the PERSON someone is? The rest follows naturally. Making love FAR exceeds mere sex. Oh GOD yes.

Think about it. THINK! If you fall in love with the actual person he/she is? How could you then NOT find them sexy? HUH?

You can and do and will. Yes you will.
So, what ARE your choices then?

DO you REALLY want to wake up on a bar stool when you are 50 or more..wondering what the fuck happened, to your life? Who gonna love you then? HUH? Or perhaps you might better find someone NOW who will and maybe he isn't mister perfect, but maybe he is Mister PERFECT FOR YOU. Yeh, you better find the long-haul dude OR YOU WILL LIVE OUT THE REST OF YOUR LIFE AND DIE ALONE.

THAT is no fun, I am told. NO fun at all.